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雅思写作实战作文批,改考场雷区一一细化摆明

发布时间:2017-10-19 16:19:00 关注量:939次

雅思写作实战作文批改

今天Andy老师在这面给大家各位烤鸭实战分析一篇雅思考场文章,把考场雷区一一细化摆明,让各位烤鸭雅思备考更加事半功倍。

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is well-known that(句型需要进一步升级)whether the enormous sales of popular consumers goods reflect the power of advertisements or the real need of the society (不建议直接照搬需要改写)has been a (活用副词fiercely)heated debate recently. Some people firmly believe that the influence of advertisement is the determing factor,while many others advocate that people decide what they want to purchase themselves. As far as I am concerned, I side with the latter opinion. The reasons are presented as follows.
(逻辑连接词first of all 需要跟进)It is increasingly acknowledged that people can but (基础词汇还需要进一步升级purchase)products they want (建议活用复合句型whatever they want)more conveniently and effectively with the help of advertisements. Nowadays citizens can choose products(什么样的products??比如all kinds of products ),such as phones,laptops, at home by watching a variety of advertisement. (逻辑连接词what is more  ,additionally )They can compare dozens of the products and choose the best and cheapest ones. (今昔对比需要带入对比的逻辑连接词however,in contrast)In the past, people used to have to drive to malls or all kinds of stores in order to choose what they want.Advertisements help people choose what they want and need easily, thus increasing (不及物dramatically raising)the sales of consumers goods.
Another reason why I advocate this opinion is that advertisements and other medias provide a lot of(建议高级点词汇a large amount of ) useful information and useful channels to get what we want(此句话让人家以为同学观点是站在ads的好处呢,中心句一定是我方观点鲜明带出来). To begin with, when people want purchase certain products, and there are advertising about it, and it could help us know more about what the product can do and what should we looking for when we are buying them. In the end, it is our own demand decides whether we buy them or not.Therefore, our choice of goods does not depend on the influence from advertisements,(同学注意考试的时候需要把最核心论点放到这段最开始,the real needs and demands from the consumers are the key reasons for high sales of popular consumer goods 作为中心句子,然后逻辑连接词来to start with, what is more ,来分别解释中心句含义;)
(逻辑连接词on the other hand 等)Some people claim that the influence of advertising on people is the reason why the sales of consumer goods is so high. However, as far as I am concerned, such assertion does not hold any water. The effect of advertising on people is huge,but it is not the determing factor. It is people’s real need for the products that decides what they purchase and advertisements only help them do it with more efficiency.
From what we have discussed above, we can safely draw to the conclusion that it is people’s need that promote the high sales of popular consumer goods(结尾总结主体三段的核心句)
目前同学基本功还是可以的,有一定的拓展能力,但是整体逻辑框架需要进一步强化,每一段目前中心观点不鲜明,逻辑连接词也不是很熟练应用到行文中;同学词汇语法还是可以的,但是需要进一步升级,就会更好了
本文由沈阳雅思培训通途国际英语的Andy老师为同学们总结的雅思写作真题,希望对托福备考的小伙伴有所帮助,更多精彩内容请访问通途国际英语雅思频道。

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